its happens...Girl meets Guy...he lies...theres another woman....DRAMA
Does it have to be?
Its amazing how once you are given a word about what God has for you the counterfeit shows up.
unfortunately this is true in this case. About a year and some change ago I decided to be INTENTIONALLY single. Meaning I declined dates and offers to pursue romantic relationships from men. I knew I was in a season of intense preparation and production therefore I didn't want nor need a distraction in the form of a man.
Fast forward to april 4, 2016
I received a message from a pretty influential Online Pastor asking me to email him my number. I skipped ahead a bit but it will all make sense keep reading.
Now lets back track
Back in say February he slid in my dm ,but this was only for a date clarification on him coming to NC to preach. He then asked for my email. At this time I assumed to be put on an email blast regarding engagements.
He emailed: (2.12.16)
" Hi just received your email on instagram how are you?
Hi Pastor ________ ____ I am well thank you for asking. How are you?
I'm well so what are you up to in life? You have an awesome page....
We went back and for for several emails about what I do , His upcoming travel , laughs about me being an over packer and then I reeled the conversation back to the dates he had scheduled to preach.
Him: lol Thats funny I bet you could pack the world! I have two dates one in charlotte and one in Sandford ...The dates are TBA
Me: (fell asleep and respond the morning after)
" Ill try to make at least one"
So at this point I'm confused as to why he needed to email me dates he didn't have ,but I charged it to the " He's a nice Pastor just connecting with the people" Card.
Thats the end of that conversation.
The next few months go by an I began to notice him coming by my ig page randomly liking my photos which was weird because he didn't follow me.... he actually doesn't follow anyone on his ig page. This made it clear I was in the search bar lol no shade though If I was him I would check for me too lol.
Any who back to 4.4.16 (look up what these numbers mean)
I received a message from him on facebook .This time after conversing about one of his empowerment calls he shifted into asking me to "Email him some time again soon I'll send you my number". Now at this point Im well aware he didn't want to exchange numbers to text-pals .... HE WAS OFFICIALLY interested.
We chatted from that day forward literally EVERYDAY. From text , to calls , and facetime was his favorite. Especially early in the morning he was fascinated by how pretty I was first thing in the morning no makeup no nothing. Our conversations ended often with "stay beautiful". Every conversation was dope , funny , insightful and refreshing. I would be lying if I said I wasn't digging him because I WAS! So much I mentioned him to my Mentor , Mom and Pastor. They are my safety net. Notice how I didn't say my homegirls. Now they knew ,but I know who to get wisdom from regarding certain situations.
My birthday came 4.17.16
He called me ,and sang happy birthday then we chatted for a while ,and he said things that confirmed prophetic words I had gotten literally hours before regarding my one day husband. Now I'm looking at my phone like huh, what? He doesn't even know what he said , and/or the significance..... or does he ?
moving on to more of the story....
He has a fascination with planes jets in particular, oddly enough I do too. I spend some of my work days silently in the cut watching them take off. There were so many thing we had in common. He loves water, so do I. I remember him saying to me " One day you will let me take your cape off and show you how to fly".
I remember one day I was walking to the gym and said something and laughed that wasn't laugh worthy. lol
it was just a laugh ,and he asked me do I do that often.... so I responded do what? He said just laugh after saying something ,and I replied idk never noticed...He told me he does that all the time and his mom would ask why lol
im just painting the picture with these situations. I mean we clicked... He would make mention of how much he knew about me ( Godly insight ) and how amazingly unique I was. I mean listen ladies he was a charmer. He also knew how pure my heart was.
that following saturday after my birthday he told me he liked me. This made me melt like a school girl because I liked him too :).
One of the word I received was that my husband would show me how to be a spokesperson because he was backer... then one day he tells me to do a 60 informercial for practice as if I was on the radio. Not because I told him the word either it just came out his mouth one day.
Then I had the chance to meet him in person..Yes all this time all we had was facetime. My sister needed my family in NJ one weekend and he lives in NY so it was perfect.
I told my mom ,and she jokingly kept saying we were going on a date. I was like nah nah we are just meeting up nothing serious.
To my surprise it ended up being a beautiful evening...... yea a date.
We met at the mall to make sure neither one of us were crazy lol
He needed a new shirt so we shopped for one.
left in his car and headed to dinner , after went to watch the planes for hours talking the night away.
We had our first kiss that night. He kept apologizing for kissing me but he couldn't help himself..." I don't normally act like this...its just something about you."
Later that evening as I arrived to my hotel he sends me this:
"Hey thanks for being beautiful , prophetic, and powerful addition to my life. Im trusting you and thanking God for you. Know that I enjoyed every moment and Im thankful for your vision".
Later he proceeds to make me an admin on his VERY busy facebook page I mean there is atleast 1.2 million people following him or more. I was honored to help and took this as sign of him showing me he trust me...and well I could trust him too. There was nothing to hide right?
I would help him manage the page and his LIVE messages.
This is when things changed.... You know someone true colors eventually come through.
Ive seen more than I would have liked to. His "email" tactic was uncovered VERY quickly. Now I am a woman of wisdom so I don't just jump on the handle ,and accuse anyone of anything. So life carried on as usual but I made a mental note of everything.
So april is gone , we met in May. he comes to NC june, he come the end of his 90 day probation. Now I am impressed he made it this far because again I was intentionally single and could sniff a fake miles away.
June was different...We met up again..this time he was in NC. We met in his hometown in Fayetteville where he grew up. We spent the day together. We ate italian spot downtown,walked around, he recorded a live video ,we visited his brothers. This one in particular had a baby on the way. Sweet couple. I remember him playing some song on the piano that was hilarious and then the guys went swimming while the ladies watched lol.
Fast forward to the evening. We were sitting on the couch at his moms house and I saw a message come through his phone saying " I just love you so much" and a name . I made a HUGE mental note. I then asked him to be honest and tell if he was seeing anyone else. He said no. He was adamant about the fact that he wasn't. I let it go for the night but didn't let what I saw go. We kept talking through the night and fell asleep on the couch. The next day we parted ways and went back to our norm. Yea no sex people just two tired people lol.
Then God started dealing with me about him, showing me where he wasn't being honest , what he needed to change etc. I then saw on social media where he had became friends with the name I saw in his phone that evening. He proceeded to act if he didn't know I knew what was up and played right along. I was able to use social media to connect the dots....
Then I took some time to myself I let him know I needed NO CONTACT for atleast 7 days.
Yall know what came next I fasted and prayed!
Then I finally asked him " why did you lie to, now our friendship was nothing but a blur"
he responded saying no it wasn't and asked me if I wanted to talk.
july 19th our last conversation (which I recorded just in case)
He made up some hogwash about always being rejected by women -__- remember this is the same guy with 1828348328191 women in his inbox...he then began to share what he thought was the truth. He made it clear that " it wasn't that deep" with whomever he was talking to. He then began to express his heart ,and tell me everything........ days , moments ,and hours WAY TOO LATE. I wasn't having it though. His truth was the half truth,but I glad God showed me the parts he left out. Unfortunately I had to forgive him and move on.
rewind really quickly:
I remember a comment he made that makes sense now " I would have to marry a women who owns her own business or teaches" make send because his now girlfriend is a teacher. He was I guess weighing his options without letting us know.
Now I moving my life forward ,and message his girlfriend with NO INTENT for them to breakup but every women deserves the truth. Granted she didn't hear the 40 min conversation I had with him if she desired more truth I would've happily given it to her. What she did after is her choice.
I had to WALK AWAY
He tried to make it seem as if he wasn't pursuing anyone ,and falling in love (of course it was fresh and he wasnt sure yet). I let him know that day I could even be his friend anymore. I had to do this for me. He felt I was being selfish however when it comes to protecting my heart I have to be selfish. He couldn't hear what I heard. He wanted me to forget everything ,and just be his friend while he shifted in his pursuit without letting me know. He messed up when he moved on without first telling me. The conversation became really intense , I with tears in my eyes asked him to please just leave me alone and to relinquish my friendship. Spiritually he expressed his "need" for me. I "helped him more than I knew". He said "this will heal".... I said yea but Im severing this tie TODAY ......
and I didnt look back....
He said "I love you & I thank God for you Jennifer even though you don't see it" and that was the last day we conversed.
I learned a lot from this ordeal and to be 100% honest it shook my faith, dug a daggar of rejection into my heart, I was again at that time in my mind not good enough for him. My rejection flared privately. I spent a lot of time talking to God.. I was prophetically discouraged and confused. No one would ever know it unless you were close to me. The woman who encouraged everyone was DEEPLY discouraged , depressed , and fighting a war that could only be won in prayer. I made it though :).
Deliverance is vital don't be ashamed of it, if you don't receive it you should be ashamed of that you don't. Theres no greater feeling then purging it out your spirit . That what I did Received prayer , I prayed and purged myself (through tears, deep breaths). Now not just from his rejection ,but from ALL OF IT from anyone or previous event.
I didn't want to share this story mainly because I wanted to free and just move on with my life. However I more than confident that when you share your testimony two people become FREE. You and someone else. I couldn't be selfish I just had to be vulnerable enough to let you know I too get hurt and go through trials. I also had to let you know my way of escape. So lastly I prayer for her. For her heart , mind , spirit, happiness and that she wouldn't feel what I felt. Its never ok to be mad at the other woman. I actually felt bad. My heart went out to her in hope that she NEVER experienced what I had. I lifted her , and asked God to protect her heart.
So if this is you... here are the steps..
1. Walk away. sever it!
2. Blocked them out on social media
3. talk it out! don't hold it inside.
4. FACE YOUR EMOTIONS and identify the root
5. Seek prayer and deliverance
6. Fast and pray to maintain it.
I hope this blessed you....
Jennifer Michelle M.